Discover Best Stories

www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUpGpPIROuo

Best Stories of Purpose-Driven Selling

We have all, at some time or another, been part of a successful, rewarding selling experience, whether it was selling a pretty pink lipstick, a million-dollar service contract, or tickets to your local arts fund-raising dinner. Reflect on a time when you felt at your best in a selling situation. Everything seemed perfectly aligned—timing, customers, your knowledge and message, the questions, and how you managed your responses, and so forth. Share your story.

• What was the situation?
• What was the purpose?
• Who was there?
• What was the outcome?
• How did you feel?

Without being modest, what do you value about yourself in your story?

What do you value about the work you were doing?

What did you value about the organizations—yours and your customer’s?

The participants paired off to interview each other. Very soon the room was alive with energy as the pairs exchanged stories of their best selling experiences.  After 25 minutes, single pairs linked up with another 2 pairs to form groups of six where interviewers introduced their interview partners and shared highlights of their partners’ stories of a high point purpose-driven sales experience.  They were invited to:

• Listen respectfully, focus on the common themes that came up across the stories;  listen for the collective strengths across all the stories:  key roots of success.   They selected a story that exemplified the strengths, best assets, and successes in a sales experience and shared with all other groups.

We then reconvened to listen to what came up for people during this discovery interview.

Collective findings of best selling experiences

We identified the most powerful and successful selling experiences happened when the following elements were present:

• we took time to notice and observe client behavior;
• we listened deeply;
• we engaged with full presence (not distracted by others, seeking information from them);
• we proposed a solution that represented the above two points and was fresh in its presentation;
• there was synchronicity and alignment of mutual respect and purpose;
• we knew we were helping;
• we felt confident and were very well-prepared; we were authentic and loved what we did; we trusted our intuition; we let go of assumptions;
• it felt easy and natural;
• we were acknowledged, complimented and  invited back;
• clients reported to feeling heard and understood and the solution offered was very good.

Participants agreed participating in the AI approach was an empowering experience, as most of them didn’t believe that selling was a strength, yet during their interviews they discovered strengths they were not yet aware of, or did not consider to be valuable.   Moreover, in hearing stories from other consultants in the room, they discovered skills and behaviors they too had, and made the connection that they could develop those same skills sets and behaviors that would help them shift to a new level of performance when it came to selling their services and products.

As a close, they each made a wish or two (in the form of a personal commitment) about what they would do to reconnect to their latent talents around selling-on-purpose and how to co-construct it with their clients.

Debriefing

As a debrief we contrasted this strength-based, generative approach to selling to the more traditional approach of telling people how to sell.  Moreover, there is a strong underlying assumption in sales-drive organizations, that sales people  are motivated by financial incentives, competition and fear of failure.  We recognized the negative consequences of contraction in such circumstances, when we feel fear and unconsciously we  jump to control mode and shut down.  On the other hand, when we come from a place of strength and feel positive about ourselves, we access our generative states, trusting ourselves and others.  We open ourselves up to possibilities, become more personally expansive and are more inclusive of others. We also spoke of the value being in positive resourceful states that the AI process facilitates, such as appreciating, imagining, collaborating and empowering.

I thank all who showed up to participate in the workshop to make it a fun and generative learning experience.  I would be most honored for those of you who were there, if you took a moment to add your own insights and experience to this blog post.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaFa91DSRi4

Workshop details -- FREE

Wednesday, July 28 2010 5:45 -- 8:00 PM

You’re invited to experience Appreciative Inquiry in Action and discover your strengths in relation to selling. If you think you can’t sell, or wish to improve, come along to this workshop on the affirmative topic of PURPOSE-DRIVEN SELLING and discover strengths you did not know you had in relation to selling.

I  will be facilitating this workshop which is one of the 21 workshops in my new book, Appreciative Inquiry for Collaborative Solutions: 21 Strength-based Workshops.

Location

John Jay College
899 10th Avenue @59th Street
New York, NY
Room 531

To Register

Please register in advance at this link:  http://bit.ly/bQZxcN
Questions: contact robyn @ positivematrix.com

“What are you excited about?”

I love the question.  In my practice of Appreciative Inquiry, we say  it’s the question that starts the change process.  If Justin had asked, not “What are you excited about” , but instead, “What are you depressed about?” a totally depressing story would have been told.  But he asked a powerfully affirmative question that inspires me to think about the successes and strengths I already know about and can celebrate.  Moreover, the question leads me to focus on what I want more of.

It was no effort to list what I am excited about.

I am excited that the conversation is widening and we are becoming more conscious of what is importance to us and what we value – more people becoming engaged and more voices are being heard.

I am excited that we are changing policies and introducing reforms to bring greater equity and justice into the world, especially in the financial sector.

I am excited we are taking actions , globally, around all the factors pertaining  to ecological sustainability – energy, transportation, earth.

I am excited when I hear leadership speak from the heart, ethically, and listens loudly.

I am excited that social media is increasing our participation and collaboration across the world and is a force of natural democratization in the world.

I am excited that we now, in America, will be able to care for the sick, children and elderly who are most vulnerable in our world.

I am excited the natural disasters that have occurred are showing us we how inter-connected we are and we cannot not think systemically.

I am excited that Americans are increasingly learning there is a world outside the US and it’s a beautiful world to be celebrated and shared.

I am excited that Americans are learning more about good health and there is conversation and action about eating natural, unprocessed, wholesome food with less sugar and less salt.

I am excited that there is continued conversation about the inhumanity of cruelty to animals.

I am excited that as a human species,  we are evolving rapidly and exponentially to live our lives with heightened and enlightened levels of consciousness.

I am excited we are thinking holistically, and seeing the world through multiple lenses, and listening to the myriad of diverse stories, and integrating the physical with the virtual

I am excited to be alive in 2010 and have this opportunity to tell my story.

I am excited to know if you, too, are moved to answer this question: “What are you excited about?”

How important?

To be doing something you are good at and having fun and involving others in co-creating fun.  That’s participation, collaboration and engagement and playing to one’s strengths!   The New York Times is talking about Matt Harding who seems to have fun doing what he’s really good at.  The article brings attention to a number of the positive attributes that living in 2010 is all about: having the internet to share one’s own creativity; involving our global village life-centric ways that unite us through music, laughter, activity, play.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlfKdbWwruY

“However you interpret it, you can’t watch “Dancing” for very long without feeling a little happier. The music (by Gary Schyman, a friend of Mr. Harding’s, and set to a poem by Rabindranath Tagore, sung in Bengali by Palbasha Siddique, a 17-year-old native of Bangladesh now living in Minneapolis) is both catchy and haunting. The backgrounds are often quite beautiful. And there is something sweetly touching and uplifting about the spectacle of all these different nationalities, people of almost every age and color, dancing along with an uninhibited doofus.

Children, not surprisingly, turn out to be the best at picking up on Mr. Harding’s infectious vibe. There’s frequently a grown-up, on the other hand — especially one in the front row of a crowd — who tends to ham it up and make a fool of himself.

The other remarkable thing about the “Dancing” phenomenon is that it is, to a very considerable extent, a creation of the Internet. It doesn’t just live, so to speak, on the Web; it was the Web that, more or less accidentally, brought it into being.”

I am equally inspired by their responses, so I’ve created a comment area on my blog for us to continue sharing ideas, stories, experiences, insights and aspirations.

Below are some examples of their emails:

“I read the activity about Business as a change agent in the world … I love the legacy aspect. So this gave me an idea for my storytelling….You inspired me at lunch, and also in the subway! This book arrives at the perfect time for me it seems!”

“Now that I’ve had a little time to actually read the book (the first few sections), I love it more. It’s got clear insights and your tapestry of weaving together the several strands that influence your thinking/this book is one of golden and silver threads. Just stunning synthesis and vision. This book is simply wonderful.  Much success!”

“I’m back in Germany now after a very exciting two weeks in New York City. Your workshop at Marymount was one of the highlights of the workshop circuit. I am planning on using appreciative inquiry in BPW and present it, as you did, as a useful trainer tool and at the same time to find out what members and prospective members want and need from BPW.  Perhaps I can also use the method in a team building workshop.”

“I’ve had a quick browse – what a wonderful resource it will be for the AI community ”

“I love your book! It’s a perfect tool for incorporating Appreciative Inquiry in group coaching/training, so I can’t wait to put it into action. Thanks for this beautiful work, it’s really going to change things ”

“Looking forward to working with your book – maybe already next week in an interview with a friend to capture her Art of Hosting training experience in Sweden last month. Will let you know -   Here is my little report from Friday’s event on Pioneers of Change.”

“Robyn Stratton-Berkessel led us through an Appreciative Inquiry exercise that showed us the power of hearing other people telling our own leadership story.”

“Can your workplace benefit from better collaboration + appreciation of each others work? Try @robbiecat‘ s workbook.”

Please also read my interview on Axiom News,  whose mission is “To be the news agency of the world’s most socially generative organizations’.

I am very grateful to you all!

And let’s keep sharing and here’s the comment area to share ideas and practices.

All of the AI Principles are evident in her story.  She opens with examples of the Constructionist Principle: how words create worlds and the role we all play in co-creating our realities and defining each other.

She advocates the need to honor the wholeness, possibility and potency of ourselves and each other.  She asks us to open ourselves up to and embrace our adversities, rather than sweep them under the carpet.

She reminds us from her own story that we live up OR down to others’ image of us, and how positive imagery leads to positive outcomes.  She is such an example of nurturing the human spirit, keeping hope, seeing the beauty, valuing curiosity … and so much more.

I highly recommend this video.

Aimee Mullen’s TED Talk on “The Opportunity of Adversity“.

My publisher had emailed me 3 days earlier with the following heartwarming message:

It’s here and it’s beautiful!!!!
Congratulations.  You should get your copy soon.

I am really happy, as my book is a unique application of Appreciative Inquiry to the world of learning and development.  Amid global challenges and complexities, the Appreciative Inquiry worldview asks, “What is it that we do already that is working for us, and how can we leverage our strengths going forward?”

The twenty-one workshops in this book are on topics of strategic importance, addressing the desire and need, in our interconnected world, for greater participation and active collaboration in meaning making and resource sharing.   This book is for change agents, leaders, trainers, facilitators, organization development professionals, and consultants.

All 21 workshops are ready for delivery; the topics are all highly relevant in today’s world, and with the Appreciative Inquiry design, they are equally applicable in global corporations, local communities, schools, colleges, universities, government agencies, non-profits, non-governmental agencies, special interest groups, communities of practice, and small business.

Workshop titles include classic topics, such as team building, leadership, and change, as well as on newer topics, such as cultural diversity, corporate social responsibility, intergenerational mix, and social media, to name a few.

This book takes Appreciative Inquiry principles and processes and applies them to real, everyday work and relationship issues in a workshop format that allows organizational members to resolve issues and create solutions from a strength-based perspective.

See larger image Appreciative Inquiry for Collaborative Solutions: 21 Strength-Based Workshops (Paperback) By (author) Robyn Stratton-Berkessel List Price: $60.00 USD New From: $46.50 In Stock Used from: $46.74 In Stock

Peter Drucker wrote in his 1967 classic, The Effective Executive. “To make strength productive is the unique purpose of organization. It cannot, of course, overcome the weaknesses with which each of us is abundantly endowed. But it can make them irrelevant.”  So if, in fact, a key task of leadership is to create an alignment of strengths, then imagine the possibilities of strengths connected to strengths?  What might that look like and why might that be worth striving for?

For leadership to create an alignment of strengths, it most likely means looking at organizations with new eyes.  What if we were to look at organization not as problems to be solved, but as miracles to be embraced?  What if we were consciously to look for the good and hold up the achievements and the successes; to invest generously and respectfully in inquiring into existing organizational strengths and assets?  What if we were to invite people to tell their stories of when they felt most energized, enlivened and valued at work.  And we listened.  Really listened.  What language would employees, customers, vendors, media be using?  Is it uplifting and positive?  What stories are they sharing about their experiences with the various products, services and people?  Are they focusing  on what works well, and what they want more of?  If yes, that’s great, as such language creates upward spirals, and there’s the broadening effect of noticing more acutely what works.  As a consequence, you are more likely to enact your capabilities and your potential. Performance improves, since it is more energizing and creative to have people talk about what they can do and what they aspire to than the reverse.  Two maxims come to mind:

What you focus on grows.

People support what they create.

To connect strengths to strengths and to see anew, with an appreciative eye,  and to facilitate the leadership capability so that it creates flourishing organizations is work that is meaningful, joyful, rewarding and essential.

That there is good passion and bad passion is not new.  But appreciating the psychological impacts of good and bad passion is of interest. Of even greater interest is how to cultivate more good passion and why does that matter?

Robert J. Vallerand, Professor of Psychology at Universite du Quebec a Montreal defines passion “as a strong inclination toward an activity that people like, find important, and in which they invest time and energy.”

Vallerand’s model posits the existence of two types of passion – harmonious passion and obsessive passion – each associated with different outcomes and experiences.

1. “Harmonious passion originates from an autonomous internalisation of the activity in the individual and leads people to choose to engage in the activity that they love. It is expected to lead mainly to more adaptive outcomes”, such as improved psychological well-being, health, relationships and performance. “An autonomous internalisation is driven by one’s own chosing;  it’s important to pursue the activity without any contingencies attached to it.  Motivation is intrinsic; it satisfies the needs for competence, autonomy, and relatedness.” These activities come to be so self-defining that they represent “who you are” in the world.  The harmoniously passionate person has a natural, authentic congruency.  Think of some people you know personally or  well-known athletes, artists, professionals and business people, who exhibit harmonious passion.
2. “Obsessive passion originates from a controlled internalisation in the individual’s identity and leads people to experience an uncontrollable urge to engage in the activity. It is hypothesised to predict less adaptive outcomes”, which could be conflict with self, others, competing activities, thus leading to possible disatisfaction, stress and burnout. “Obsessive passion may be displayed as a rigid persistence toward the activity”, as with such passion, one cannot NOT engage in the acivity. This happens because “ego-invested rather than integrative self processes are at play with obsessive passion leading the person to eventually becoming dependent on the activity. While such persistence may lead to some benefits (e.g., improved performance at the activity), it may also come at a cost for the individual, potentially leading to less than optimal functioning within the confines of the passionate activity because of the lack of flexibility that it entails.”

What role does competition play in the cultivation of obsessive passion?

There are too many examples of the negative consequences of obsessive passion spanning the history of our human species and in all areas of human endeavor – from politics, to business, to sports.  If you think about athletes (and others) who feel the need to take performance enhancing drugs, you’d have to ask which type of passion is internalized in them – autonomous or controlled?  And if not them, their managers, coaches or promoters?  What role does competition play in the cultivation of obsessive passion?  How does such obsessive passion play out in our personal well-being, long term success, health, relationships and performance?

How to cultivate harmonious passion and why does it matter?

• Love what you do, persist and practice. People who love what they do generally use a blend of their talents, gifts, strengths with a big shot of harmonious passion that keeps them doing what they love to do – even against all odds.  They get better at it, through persistence and practice and society benefits.   Think of the legacies left by painters and musicians, writers and scientists.  Van Gogh, Beethoven, Shakespeare and Marie Curie come to mind.  By the way there are no age, race, gender, culture barriers to loving what you do.   How many septuagenarian rock stars, or seven year old poets are out there?

• Take responsiblity to make it happen. If it’s you, then recognize which activities play to your talents and strengths and matter very deeply to you, not because something or somebody outside you tells you to, but because the activity or actitivies make you feel alive: they are instrinsic to your identity.   Take responsibility to cultivate and nurture them.  If you are a parent or boss, notice which activities enliven your child or staff member when they are at one with the activity.  Encourage their deliberate practice.

• Notice the impact your good (harmonious) passion generates in relation to:  your own well-being – your sense of vitality, aliveness and purpose in the world; your relationship with others – what and how you relate to others;  your physical health and energy levels;  your performance and outputs – the quality and quantity and your satisfaction levels.

When you pursue your passion, is it harmoniously integrated, creating a kind of peace within?  And how does that matter?  Your comments are welcome.

Punters at the racetrack don’t place their hard-earned money on the weakest horse in the race.  They bet on the best and the strongest.  Owners and trainers of racehorses invest in nurturing and developing the strengths of each individual horse.  It’s not to say, they discount or ignore their weak areas.  They work on the principle, that the return on investment will come from developing what is already a natural strength in each horse.

When training for a triathlon, cycling was my strength, running was in the middle and swimming was my weakest stage.  To perform at my best, it was the cycling I needed to excel at.  I could get into the zone when I cycled.  I was at one with the bike, torso parallel to the road, legs dancing on the pedals, feeling the exhilaration of my rhythmic cadence, the wind flowing over me as I challenging myself to go faster and faster.  It was hard work and it was pure joy.  I trained in running, but it took much more effort to feel pleasure above pain.  No matter how much I trained, I would never bring my running up to a standard that would exceed my performance on the bike.  When it came to swimming, I trained just to be able to compete, damage control as it’s known as.   Had I invested all my time in my weakest stage, I would have jeopardized my overall performance and would have certainly dampened the pleasure and reward I got out of participating in a triathlon.

Similarly, if you were the coach of a successful swimming team, you’d know the strengths and weaknesses of all you team members.  In order to get the best out of the team, you’d invest greater effort on developing the strengths of each team member to optimize their performance.  You would also work with them to overcome their weaknesses for necessary damage control.  The biggest investment of your time, effort and money, however, would be in building the strengths of each team member.   You would not do it the other way round – focus on individuals’ weaknesses, at the cost of their natural talents and strengths.

It seems we know this in the sports arena.  Yet, when it comes to organizational contexts, don’t we do it the other way round?  A vast majority of leaders still think we need to eliminate weaknesses in order to get optimal performance.  Peter Drucker, (1919-2005), one of the most influential thinkers on leadership and management, stressed that the role of leadership is to build on organizational strengths so that weaknesses seem irrelevant.  Weaknesses cannot be ignored.  But to develop and improve performance, it is more resourceful to focus on what already works well.  Recently, I was contracted to coach a number of highly talented women in a professional services firm.  All six came to their first coaching session with their 360 performance review reports.  The first gesture of each person was to go the end of the document and point to the feedback of their manager with the comments, “these are my weaknesses.  These are the areas my manager wants me to work on.”

How does this resonate with you?  What do you and your organizations invest in?  It would be terrific to have your comments.