Discover Best Stories

www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUpGpPIROuo

Best Stories of Purpose-Driven Selling

We have all, at some time or another, been part of a successful, rewarding selling experience, whether it was selling a pretty pink lipstick, a million-dollar service contract, or tickets to your local arts fund-raising dinner. Reflect on a time when you felt at your best in a selling situation. Everything seemed perfectly aligned—timing, customers, your knowledge and message, the questions, and how you managed your responses, and so forth. Share your story.

• What was the situation?
• What was the purpose?
• Who was there?
• What was the outcome?
• How did you feel?

Without being modest, what do you value about yourself in your story?

What do you value about the work you were doing?

What did you value about the organizations—yours and your customer’s?

The participants paired off to interview each other. Very soon the room was alive with energy as the pairs exchanged stories of their best selling experiences.  After 25 minutes, single pairs linked up with another 2 pairs to form groups of six where interviewers introduced their interview partners and shared highlights of their partners’ stories of a high point purpose-driven sales experience.  They were invited to:

• Listen respectfully, focus on the common themes that came up across the stories;  listen for the collective strengths across all the stories:  key roots of success.   They selected a story that exemplified the strengths, best assets, and successes in a sales experience and shared with all other groups.

We then reconvened to listen to what came up for people during this discovery interview.

Collective findings of best selling experiences

We identified the most powerful and successful selling experiences happened when the following elements were present:

• we took time to notice and observe client behavior;
• we listened deeply;
• we engaged with full presence (not distracted by others, seeking information from them);
• we proposed a solution that represented the above two points and was fresh in its presentation;
• there was synchronicity and alignment of mutual respect and purpose;
• we knew we were helping;
• we felt confident and were very well-prepared; we were authentic and loved what we did; we trusted our intuition; we let go of assumptions;
• it felt easy and natural;
• we were acknowledged, complimented and  invited back;
• clients reported to feeling heard and understood and the solution offered was very good.

Participants agreed participating in the AI approach was an empowering experience, as most of them didn’t believe that selling was a strength, yet during their interviews they discovered strengths they were not yet aware of, or did not consider to be valuable.   Moreover, in hearing stories from other consultants in the room, they discovered skills and behaviors they too had, and made the connection that they could develop those same skills sets and behaviors that would help them shift to a new level of performance when it came to selling their services and products.

As a close, they each made a wish or two (in the form of a personal commitment) about what they would do to reconnect to their latent talents around selling-on-purpose and how to co-construct it with their clients.

Debriefing

As a debrief we contrasted this strength-based, generative approach to selling to the more traditional approach of telling people how to sell.  Moreover, there is a strong underlying assumption in sales-drive organizations, that sales people  are motivated by financial incentives, competition and fear of failure.  We recognized the negative consequences of contraction in such circumstances, when we feel fear and unconsciously we  jump to control mode and shut down.  On the other hand, when we come from a place of strength and feel positive about ourselves, we access our generative states, trusting ourselves and others.  We open ourselves up to possibilities, become more personally expansive and are more inclusive of others. We also spoke of the value being in positive resourceful states that the AI process facilitates, such as appreciating, imagining, collaborating and empowering.

I thank all who showed up to participate in the workshop to make it a fun and generative learning experience.  I would be most honored for those of you who were there, if you took a moment to add your own insights and experience to this blog post.

My New York Cab story:

I’m in New York City and when I get into a cab, after I put on my seat belt and settle into the backseat, I ask the driver casually. “What’s the best thing that’s happened to you today?” It could be any time of day. It could be snowing, sleeting, or sweltering with heat and humidity. The traffic is usually at a stand still and horns are honking and sirens screeching. And, every single time, I get an almost identical response …. the driver suspiciously raises his eyes and looks up into the rear view mirror to check out who is this kook in the back of his cab. Then slowly a smile comes across his face, his eyes twinkle as they make contact with mine and he repeats: “The best thing that’s happened to me today?” And he begins to tell me. There is more. Through my appreciative inquiry I get to hear more of his story – where he comes from, who is family is, what he does in his spare time, what life is like back in his country of origin and much more. Over these last years, I have connected with the most wonderful and extraordinary people simply by asking an unconditionally positive question.

Every person, whose story I’ve heard has touched me and I know I have touched them. Perhaps, most illustrative of the power of inquiry is the driver who was so moved by our generative conversation, driving me from Wall Street to Park Avenue said, when we reached my destination, “Ma’am you do such good work in the world, you don’t pay me!” I thanked him and responded he also was doing such good work in the world. Then as I got out of the cab, I mentioned to the next passenger who was already impatiently holding the cab door, “He’s a good guy”, flicking my head in the direction of the driver. Before the cab pulled away from the curb, I heard the driver laugh out loud when the new passenger said, “I hear you are a good guy.”

Appreciative inquiry, it works every time.

Five actions using appreciative inquiry to shape your experience

1. Pay special attention to your first question, it determines what comes next.
2. Ask what works, rather than what’s wrong?
3. Notice, the more positive the question, the more it will create the possible.
4. Stay in the inquiry to help people think.
5. Believe in the goodness of people to see the goodness of people.

What are your positive stories about shaping your experience to bring out the best in you and others?

image courtesy of berkessel.com

“What are you excited about?”

I love the question.  In my practice of Appreciative Inquiry, we say  it’s the question that starts the change process.  If Justin had asked, not “What are you excited about” , but instead, “What are you depressed about?” a totally depressing story would have been told.  But he asked a powerfully affirmative question that inspires me to think about the successes and strengths I already know about and can celebrate.  Moreover, the question leads me to focus on what I want more of.

It was no effort to list what I am excited about.

I am excited that the conversation is widening and we are becoming more conscious of what is importance to us and what we value – more people becoming engaged and more voices are being heard.

I am excited that we are changing policies and introducing reforms to bring greater equity and justice into the world, especially in the financial sector.

I am excited we are taking actions , globally, around all the factors pertaining  to ecological sustainability – energy, transportation, earth.

I am excited when I hear leadership speak from the heart, ethically, and listens loudly.

I am excited that social media is increasing our participation and collaboration across the world and is a force of natural democratization in the world.

I am excited that we now, in America, will be able to care for the sick, children and elderly who are most vulnerable in our world.

I am excited the natural disasters that have occurred are showing us we how inter-connected we are and we cannot not think systemically.

I am excited that Americans are increasingly learning there is a world outside the US and it’s a beautiful world to be celebrated and shared.

I am excited that Americans are learning more about good health and there is conversation and action about eating natural, unprocessed, wholesome food with less sugar and less salt.

I am excited that there is continued conversation about the inhumanity of cruelty to animals.

I am excited that as a human species,  we are evolving rapidly and exponentially to live our lives with heightened and enlightened levels of consciousness.

I am excited we are thinking holistically, and seeing the world through multiple lenses, and listening to the myriad of diverse stories, and integrating the physical with the virtual

I am excited to be alive in 2010 and have this opportunity to tell my story.

I am excited to know if you, too, are moved to answer this question: “What are you excited about?”

How important?

To be doing something you are good at and having fun and involving others in co-creating fun.  That’s participation, collaboration and engagement and playing to one’s strengths!   The New York Times is talking about Matt Harding who seems to have fun doing what he’s really good at.  The article brings attention to a number of the positive attributes that living in 2010 is all about: having the internet to share one’s own creativity; involving our global village life-centric ways that unite us through music, laughter, activity, play.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlfKdbWwruY

“However you interpret it, you can’t watch “Dancing” for very long without feeling a little happier. The music (by Gary Schyman, a friend of Mr. Harding’s, and set to a poem by Rabindranath Tagore, sung in Bengali by Palbasha Siddique, a 17-year-old native of Bangladesh now living in Minneapolis) is both catchy and haunting. The backgrounds are often quite beautiful. And there is something sweetly touching and uplifting about the spectacle of all these different nationalities, people of almost every age and color, dancing along with an uninhibited doofus.

Children, not surprisingly, turn out to be the best at picking up on Mr. Harding’s infectious vibe. There’s frequently a grown-up, on the other hand — especially one in the front row of a crowd — who tends to ham it up and make a fool of himself.

The other remarkable thing about the “Dancing” phenomenon is that it is, to a very considerable extent, a creation of the Internet. It doesn’t just live, so to speak, on the Web; it was the Web that, more or less accidentally, brought it into being.”

I am equally inspired by their responses, so I’ve created a comment area on my blog for us to continue sharing ideas, stories, experiences, insights and aspirations.

Below are some examples of their emails:

“I read the activity about Business as a change agent in the world … I love the legacy aspect. So this gave me an idea for my storytelling….You inspired me at lunch, and also in the subway! This book arrives at the perfect time for me it seems!”

“Now that I’ve had a little time to actually read the book (the first few sections), I love it more. It’s got clear insights and your tapestry of weaving together the several strands that influence your thinking/this book is one of golden and silver threads. Just stunning synthesis and vision. This book is simply wonderful.  Much success!”

“I’m back in Germany now after a very exciting two weeks in New York City. Your workshop at Marymount was one of the highlights of the workshop circuit. I am planning on using appreciative inquiry in BPW and present it, as you did, as a useful trainer tool and at the same time to find out what members and prospective members want and need from BPW.  Perhaps I can also use the method in a team building workshop.”

“I’ve had a quick browse – what a wonderful resource it will be for the AI community ”

“I love your book! It’s a perfect tool for incorporating Appreciative Inquiry in group coaching/training, so I can’t wait to put it into action. Thanks for this beautiful work, it’s really going to change things ”

“Looking forward to working with your book – maybe already next week in an interview with a friend to capture her Art of Hosting training experience in Sweden last month. Will let you know -   Here is my little report from Friday’s event on Pioneers of Change.”

“Robyn Stratton-Berkessel led us through an Appreciative Inquiry exercise that showed us the power of hearing other people telling our own leadership story.”

“Can your workplace benefit from better collaboration + appreciation of each others work? Try @robbiecat‘ s workbook.”

Please also read my interview on Axiom News,  whose mission is “To be the news agency of the world’s most socially generative organizations’.

I am very grateful to you all!

And let’s keep sharing and here’s the comment area to share ideas and practices.

All of the AI Principles are evident in her story.  She opens with examples of the Constructionist Principle: how words create worlds and the role we all play in co-creating our realities and defining each other.

She advocates the need to honor the wholeness, possibility and potency of ourselves and each other.  She asks us to open ourselves up to and embrace our adversities, rather than sweep them under the carpet.

She reminds us from her own story that we live up OR down to others’ image of us, and how positive imagery leads to positive outcomes.  She is such an example of nurturing the human spirit, keeping hope, seeing the beauty, valuing curiosity … and so much more.

I highly recommend this video.

Aimee Mullen’s TED Talk on “The Opportunity of Adversity“.

Peter Drucker wrote in his 1967 classic, The Effective Executive. “To make strength productive is the unique purpose of organization. It cannot, of course, overcome the weaknesses with which each of us is abundantly endowed. But it can make them irrelevant.”  So if, in fact, a key task of leadership is to create an alignment of strengths, then imagine the possibilities of strengths connected to strengths?  What might that look like and why might that be worth striving for?

For leadership to create an alignment of strengths, it most likely means looking at organizations with new eyes.  What if we were to look at organization not as problems to be solved, but as miracles to be embraced?  What if we were consciously to look for the good and hold up the achievements and the successes; to invest generously and respectfully in inquiring into existing organizational strengths and assets?  What if we were to invite people to tell their stories of when they felt most energized, enlivened and valued at work.  And we listened.  Really listened.  What language would employees, customers, vendors, media be using?  Is it uplifting and positive?  What stories are they sharing about their experiences with the various products, services and people?  Are they focusing  on what works well, and what they want more of?  If yes, that’s great, as such language creates upward spirals, and there’s the broadening effect of noticing more acutely what works.  As a consequence, you are more likely to enact your capabilities and your potential. Performance improves, since it is more energizing and creative to have people talk about what they can do and what they aspire to than the reverse.  Two maxims come to mind:

What you focus on grows.

People support what they create.

To connect strengths to strengths and to see anew, with an appreciative eye,  and to facilitate the leadership capability so that it creates flourishing organizations is work that is meaningful, joyful, rewarding and essential.

We are offering some great presentations and workshops online using iCohere collaborative platform and we are seeking a number of volunteer online hosts who will be able to participate in the conference and perform some support activities.   This is a great opportunity for those who want to participate, but for a variety of reason can’t make it to Nepal in November.  Colleague, Sue James is co-ordinating the online hosting activities.

What are the benefits of volunteering?

• Receive support and training in the virtual conference environment, prior to the conference itself;
• Become part of a global network of volunteers, all of whom share your interest in Appreciative Inquiry;
• Gain personal and professional recognition across the AI community; and
• If you can act as an online host for six (6) hours or more over the four days of the conference, you will receive a 50% discount on virtual conference registration!
• (These hours will not have to be contributed in one block, but can be spread out in two-hour time slots over the four days)

For all the details and to register, please go to http://suejames.com/aihosts2009/

I am fortunate to be able to travel to Nepal for the Conference and will also co-facilitating an online workshop, “Flourishing Destinies: How to Sustain Positive Change.”  I will be happy to answer any questions and request that you use the contact form on this site to reach me.

The environment – nature in this case – provided feedback which supported my experience in the following ways: the embrace of the gentle sea breeze blowing my hair and cooling my skin; the sound of the waves roaring up onto the sand, and being sucked back again, and the noises and sights of the gulls squawking and swooping, and the tiny piping plovers scurrying a constant few feet ahead of me.  This tactile, auditory and visual feedback from nature contributed significantly to my feelings of well-being and my most satisfying performance. I felt supported by the environment.  Furthermore,  I overheard one woman say to another as I passed them, “this is so great.”  I smiled.  A couple of days later, when walking, a man wearing only bathing trunks walked toward me with arms outstretched with a huge grin on his face.  “This is beautiful.  This is the first time I have ever walked to the most north part of Sandy Hook.  It is just so beautiful.”  I congratulated him,  laughing with him as he exuberantly needed to share his feelings of elation and achievement.

Psychologically, I felt light and powerful, and in tune with nature all around.  I felt positive and supported by the environment.   I drew deep breaths to take it all in appreciatively.  I felt the blood pumping in my heart as my pulse intensified with my effort.  My breath quickened and the heat was rising in my body in proportion to the energy I was expending.   I felt fortunate to be in such a place at that moment with an increased sense of well-being just as the other people had expressed.

Then there were the electronic devices that provided me feedback.  I was wearing a heart rate monitor strap around my chest and a watch on my wrist.  I knew exactly my heart rate as I walked, my “lap” time, and the calories I was consuming.  The feedback from these tools helped me track my performance.  Not only was the HR monitor providing me valuable feedback,  I also had my iPhone with an app called MotionX-GPS, in my short’s pocket.   This app tracked my walk. I could see where I was going on the map, the GPS co-0rdinates, my pace, if I chose to look at it in the moment.  My pace was 3.9 miles per hour and if I wanted to get to 4.00 mph, I knew what I had to do!  At the same time, I was listening to music, that inspired me and helped me find a rhythm that worked with my pace.  I also took this photograph with my iPhone.

Would I have enjoyed my walk without my feedback tools – the environment, my psyche and electronic devices.  Yes, and I think the feedback these tools provided me in the moment enhanced my enjoyment and my performance.   Moreover, I can now make choices about my next walks – the conditions of the environment and how they impact my psyche, and the data that I later downloaded from my heart rate monitor and iPhone app, MotionX-GPS to my computer.

Being conscious of my performance helps because it’s in my nature to want feedback – to know how I am doing , how I am serving myself and others, how I am in nature, and in the world at large.   It helps my performance to know how I relate to the context itself and to others.  I learn more about what supports me;  what I value;  how I can evaluate and improve and take corrective action.   I can make choices about the feedback.  It is all information and I can chose to ignore it or use it as a benchmark for something different.

It seems to me that our participation in, and contribution to this world is hugely dependent on the quality of feedback we get from a variety of sources.  We don’t live in isolation; there are feedback loops that that continually inform us.  How much attention we pay to all the feedback that is available to us and what we do with it, is our choice.

The benefits of such a shift in perspective is equally applicable to the importance of taking vacations, as it is to dealing with difficult situations at work or in the family.

I’ve just returned from a two week vacation in Tuscany, Italy, where the landscape is a textured tapestry of  verdant vineyards, silky grey olive groves, sunburnt fields stockpiled with hay bales, paddocks of sunflowers stretching tall and wide, remote stone farm houses surrounded by slender poplars,  walled townships with bell towers, forts and castles perched high on the hill tops all around.  It is pure sensory overload.

When traveling to new place (literally or metaphorically), do you surrender to the delight of new discoveries.  I do; and even if they jolt my sensitives, they are at best a new experience, or at worst an opportunity to revisit an old pattern, which to me is what life is about – embracing all experiences and deciding what sense to make of them.  I am reminded of: “In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s there are few.” (Shunryo Suzuki-Roshi).

Experiencing new environments combined with the mindset of being open to possibilities, we expand and enrich ourselves to what is new and unfamiliar.  When we stick to what is what is known and comfortable, such as when we impose our modus operandi in a foreign context, it can lead to disagreement, frustration, annoyance, and disappointment.

With a beginner’s mind and an appreciative eye, our relationship with the world shifts:  we are opened to many possibilities;  we see in new ways,  we inquire from interest and curiosity;   we listen respectfully.

One practical reflection from my Tuscany break is to apply my awareness of a beginner’s mind and an appreciative eye to developing greater tolerance of learning new technologies – when I get frustrated, I need to take a break and then come back with clear eyes.

What are some of your personal insights about the value of taking a break?