Discover Best Stories

www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUpGpPIROuo

Best Stories of Purpose-Driven Selling

We have all, at some time or another, been part of a successful, rewarding selling experience, whether it was selling a pretty pink lipstick, a million-dollar service contract, or tickets to your local arts fund-raising dinner. Reflect on a time when you felt at your best in a selling situation. Everything seemed perfectly aligned—timing, customers, your knowledge and message, the questions, and how you managed your responses, and so forth. Share your story.

• What was the situation?
• What was the purpose?
• Who was there?
• What was the outcome?
• How did you feel?

Without being modest, what do you value about yourself in your story?

What do you value about the work you were doing?

What did you value about the organizations—yours and your customer’s?

The participants paired off to interview each other. Very soon the room was alive with energy as the pairs exchanged stories of their best selling experiences.  After 25 minutes, single pairs linked up with another 2 pairs to form groups of six where interviewers introduced their interview partners and shared highlights of their partners’ stories of a high point purpose-driven sales experience.  They were invited to:

• Listen respectfully, focus on the common themes that came up across the stories;  listen for the collective strengths across all the stories:  key roots of success.   They selected a story that exemplified the strengths, best assets, and successes in a sales experience and shared with all other groups.

We then reconvened to listen to what came up for people during this discovery interview.

Collective findings of best selling experiences

We identified the most powerful and successful selling experiences happened when the following elements were present:

• we took time to notice and observe client behavior;
• we listened deeply;
• we engaged with full presence (not distracted by others, seeking information from them);
• we proposed a solution that represented the above two points and was fresh in its presentation;
• there was synchronicity and alignment of mutual respect and purpose;
• we knew we were helping;
• we felt confident and were very well-prepared; we were authentic and loved what we did; we trusted our intuition; we let go of assumptions;
• it felt easy and natural;
• we were acknowledged, complimented and  invited back;
• clients reported to feeling heard and understood and the solution offered was very good.

Participants agreed participating in the AI approach was an empowering experience, as most of them didn’t believe that selling was a strength, yet during their interviews they discovered strengths they were not yet aware of, or did not consider to be valuable.   Moreover, in hearing stories from other consultants in the room, they discovered skills and behaviors they too had, and made the connection that they could develop those same skills sets and behaviors that would help them shift to a new level of performance when it came to selling their services and products.

As a close, they each made a wish or two (in the form of a personal commitment) about what they would do to reconnect to their latent talents around selling-on-purpose and how to co-construct it with their clients.

Debriefing

As a debrief we contrasted this strength-based, generative approach to selling to the more traditional approach of telling people how to sell.  Moreover, there is a strong underlying assumption in sales-drive organizations, that sales people  are motivated by financial incentives, competition and fear of failure.  We recognized the negative consequences of contraction in such circumstances, when we feel fear and unconsciously we  jump to control mode and shut down.  On the other hand, when we come from a place of strength and feel positive about ourselves, we access our generative states, trusting ourselves and others.  We open ourselves up to possibilities, become more personally expansive and are more inclusive of others. We also spoke of the value being in positive resourceful states that the AI process facilitates, such as appreciating, imagining, collaborating and empowering.

I thank all who showed up to participate in the workshop to make it a fun and generative learning experience.  I would be most honored for those of you who were there, if you took a moment to add your own insights and experience to this blog post.

“What are you excited about?”

I love the question.  In my practice of Appreciative Inquiry, we say  it’s the question that starts the change process.  If Justin had asked, not “What are you excited about” , but instead, “What are you depressed about?” a totally depressing story would have been told.  But he asked a powerfully affirmative question that inspires me to think about the successes and strengths I already know about and can celebrate.  Moreover, the question leads me to focus on what I want more of.

It was no effort to list what I am excited about.

I am excited that the conversation is widening and we are becoming more conscious of what is importance to us and what we value – more people becoming engaged and more voices are being heard.

I am excited that we are changing policies and introducing reforms to bring greater equity and justice into the world, especially in the financial sector.

I am excited we are taking actions , globally, around all the factors pertaining  to ecological sustainability – energy, transportation, earth.

I am excited when I hear leadership speak from the heart, ethically, and listens loudly.

I am excited that social media is increasing our participation and collaboration across the world and is a force of natural democratization in the world.

I am excited that we now, in America, will be able to care for the sick, children and elderly who are most vulnerable in our world.

I am excited the natural disasters that have occurred are showing us we how inter-connected we are and we cannot not think systemically.

I am excited that Americans are increasingly learning there is a world outside the US and it’s a beautiful world to be celebrated and shared.

I am excited that Americans are learning more about good health and there is conversation and action about eating natural, unprocessed, wholesome food with less sugar and less salt.

I am excited that there is continued conversation about the inhumanity of cruelty to animals.

I am excited that as a human species,  we are evolving rapidly and exponentially to live our lives with heightened and enlightened levels of consciousness.

I am excited we are thinking holistically, and seeing the world through multiple lenses, and listening to the myriad of diverse stories, and integrating the physical with the virtual

I am excited to be alive in 2010 and have this opportunity to tell my story.

I am excited to know if you, too, are moved to answer this question: “What are you excited about?”

How so absolutely real is that!  Coming back from India and Nepal recently, and being immersed in the experience of other cultures brought “the experience of being alive” up front and personal. I saw and felt both the rawness of poverty co-exist alongside the comfort of wealth, and latest mobile technologies being used along side women filling vessels from community water pumps.   It’s those in-your-face contrasts that jolt us into the fullness of being alive.

If we don’t experience the fullness of life personally, we can vicariously.  We see more and more reality TV shows in the US which expose us to aspects of life that maybe outside our own experiences.  For example, where bosses are going undercover into the trenches to experience what it’s like to work in their own companies outside their board rooms; where couples race around the world and experience many difference cultures and environments;  where cooks initiative food revolutions to expose school kids to food that is different from their regular, routine food in the hope to introduce healthier diets that will create greater awareness of what it takes to live a healthier life style, free from fatal diseases associated with obesity.  And there are so many others that open us up to the fullness of being alive.

Awareness is the first step in any change.  If we can suspend judgment and see others as they are, it opens us up to seeing the wholeness of life with an appreciation of difference and what it could be like to be in someone else’s  shoes.  With such awareness, we begin to expand our own perspectives and the experience of being alive, and with that, comes the principle of Umbunto – I am because you are.

My dream for a more equitable, loving world, where communities can sustain themselves, women increasingly take public leadership roles, in the home, in business and governments, children are literate, and wealth is more evenly distributed is being realized bit-by-bit.  This bit-by-bit phenomenon is growing.  Social entrepreneurs, who believe in patient capital, participatory leadership and mindsets, and social media that instantly spread messages, are powerful facilitators of this positive, equitable trend.

If you too embrace the “fullness of being alive”, with optimism, hope and possibility, how is it showing up for you?

How to register for this free event.

This was the most diverse AI conference to date: the location, Kathmandu, Nepal, the participant mix from 42 countries, and the range topics showing the many, many applications of AI in the world today in all sectors was a testament to the power of AI globally. It was a simultaneous online and in person conference.

I, together with Susanne Mueller, Barbara Christian and Timothy Germany,  will be sharing the high points of our experience.  Come hear our stories as we share examples of how AI as an instrument of change is impacting the lives of people in the poorest communities, in schools, in government, in industry, in hospitals, on topics of social justice, environmental responsibility, aging, leadership, families and so much more.

In addition, I will provide a quick overview of the contents and objectives of my  new book  “Appreciative Inquiry for Collaborative Solutions: 21 Strength-based Workshops”, published by Pfeiffer Imprint of Wiley, ISBN 978-0-470-48316-9 will be available. David Cooperrider  has described it as “a brilliantly applied book with over 21 workshops ready for prime time delivery – helping leaders tap the revolutionary power of appreciative inquiry…”

Date:  Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Time:  5:45 pm  – 8 pm
Location:   John Jay College, 899 Tenth Avenue @ 59th Street , Room 610 T
Registration Fee:  Free
Here is the closest Subway stop/lines   59th Street Columbus Circle/Broadway  – Subway A, B, C, D, 2, 1

Participants will need to pre-register in order to access the building.   (You may need to sign in to yahoo groups.)

The NYAISIG is a community of practice that is committed to the study, exploration and application of the Appreciative Inquiry Philosophical Approach along with other positive/collaborative approaches and practices around change and transformation.  It is our hope to create a supportive community of practitioners to bring more of these approaches into New York City and Area Organizations.   It is co-sponsored by Dispute Resolution Program at John Jay College.

I am equally inspired by their responses, so I’ve created a comment area on my blog for us to continue sharing ideas, stories, experiences, insights and aspirations.

Below are some examples of their emails:

“I read the activity about Business as a change agent in the world … I love the legacy aspect. So this gave me an idea for my storytelling….You inspired me at lunch, and also in the subway! This book arrives at the perfect time for me it seems!”

“Now that I’ve had a little time to actually read the book (the first few sections), I love it more. It’s got clear insights and your tapestry of weaving together the several strands that influence your thinking/this book is one of golden and silver threads. Just stunning synthesis and vision. This book is simply wonderful.  Much success!”

“I’m back in Germany now after a very exciting two weeks in New York City. Your workshop at Marymount was one of the highlights of the workshop circuit. I am planning on using appreciative inquiry in BPW and present it, as you did, as a useful trainer tool and at the same time to find out what members and prospective members want and need from BPW.  Perhaps I can also use the method in a team building workshop.”

“I’ve had a quick browse – what a wonderful resource it will be for the AI community ”

“I love your book! It’s a perfect tool for incorporating Appreciative Inquiry in group coaching/training, so I can’t wait to put it into action. Thanks for this beautiful work, it’s really going to change things ”

“Looking forward to working with your book – maybe already next week in an interview with a friend to capture her Art of Hosting training experience in Sweden last month. Will let you know -   Here is my little report from Friday’s event on Pioneers of Change.”

“Robyn Stratton-Berkessel led us through an Appreciative Inquiry exercise that showed us the power of hearing other people telling our own leadership story.”

“Can your workplace benefit from better collaboration + appreciation of each others work? Try @robbiecat‘ s workbook.”

Please also read my interview on Axiom News,  whose mission is “To be the news agency of the world’s most socially generative organizations’.

I am very grateful to you all!

And let’s keep sharing and here’s the comment area to share ideas and practices.

My publisher had emailed me 3 days earlier with the following heartwarming message:

It’s here and it’s beautiful!!!!
Congratulations.  You should get your copy soon.

I am really happy, as my book is a unique application of Appreciative Inquiry to the world of learning and development.  Amid global challenges and complexities, the Appreciative Inquiry worldview asks, “What is it that we do already that is working for us, and how can we leverage our strengths going forward?”

The twenty-one workshops in this book are on topics of strategic importance, addressing the desire and need, in our interconnected world, for greater participation and active collaboration in meaning making and resource sharing.   This book is for change agents, leaders, trainers, facilitators, organization development professionals, and consultants.

All 21 workshops are ready for delivery; the topics are all highly relevant in today’s world, and with the Appreciative Inquiry design, they are equally applicable in global corporations, local communities, schools, colleges, universities, government agencies, non-profits, non-governmental agencies, special interest groups, communities of practice, and small business.

Workshop titles include classic topics, such as team building, leadership, and change, as well as on newer topics, such as cultural diversity, corporate social responsibility, intergenerational mix, and social media, to name a few.

This book takes Appreciative Inquiry principles and processes and applies them to real, everyday work and relationship issues in a workshop format that allows organizational members to resolve issues and create solutions from a strength-based perspective.

See larger image Appreciative Inquiry for Collaborative Solutions: 21 Strength-Based Workshops (Paperback) By (author) Robyn Stratton-Berkessel List Price: $60.00 USD New From: $46.50 In Stock Used from: $46.74 In Stock

The decade beginning 2000 was a good decade for me.  I married a wonderful human being in 2000; we have enjoyed great fun and a wide range of intensely pleasurable physical experiences; we have grown together and independently through many stimulating, engaging intellectual learnings;  and we have both experienced deeply meaningful emotional times.  We have traveled a lot and created a home we love. I am blessed in my relationship.

So, in this last decade, I have continued to change, as has the world around me.  A dominant and exciting force that is enabling this rapid growth rate of change is social media. We have new and additional ways in which we communicate and connect with people and we have many more topics and stories to share.  My sensitivity has been even more heightened as to how alike we really are across the globe.  How vulnerable we all are, and how much more we can become together.  I have been moved by so many stories shared in private and in public places – face-to-face, virtually, in books, on TV, in film.  All my senses have been sharpened.  For example, in Italy, I savored during and for months afterwards the landscape and the smells and sounds; the sensations and the tastes:  I admired the art work and architecture and imagined what it was like when armies of ancient Rome traversed the land battled against the Carthaginians and the Gauls;  I imagined the beauty of the Etruscans, even before the Romans, and then I imagined what life may have been like during the Renaissance when art and commerce flourished.  History and culture revealing how peoples continue to shape the future and leave their legacies.

I experienced similar emotions and wonderings while traveling in India and visiting Kathmandu Valley in Nepal.  My curiosity and interest is always aroused to learn how people get to where they are and what has shaped their current situation.   What are their stories?  My own birthplace, Australia, has untold stories that the land longs to share.  The more stories we can hear of all peoples on this planet, the richer we all will be.

I love to find the themes and connect dots.  What keeps coming up for me?  My filtering system is constructed to find the beauty, the goodness and what truths endure across time and space.  Horror and evil also endure across time and space. They co-exist.  History and the arts are full of co-existence. The victories of love overcoming fear, and good overcoming evil and beauty overcoming horror is the human story.

I learned at Christmas time, a dear colleague, whom I haven’t communicated with since 2002 has Stage 4 cancer in her brain and has very little time left in her present form.   Going about my business (busy-ness), I thought about her a lot, but didn’t call.   After Christmas, I learnt her condition had worsened.  I felt remorseful that I had not acted on my best intuition to call her when I wanted to.  I actually feared I had missed my opportunity to let her know I cared for her.  I had weak excuses, like a 14 hours time difference, Christmas was an awkward time, etc. etc.  Finally, I did call and our conversation was truly meaningful.  I also send the flowers I had been thinking about sending for four days.  I decided that moving beyond thought to action would be my commitment to myself in 2010.  To move beyond dreaming and thinking into action – action that serves others, and in doing so, serves me.

All plans can change.  So when the world changes around you, what constants provide you with a sense of safety or equanimity that enables you to go on?  The tiniest belief in oneself helps; some hope for a future; the support of others.  I have been in that state, when I had no self-confidence, despaired of any future and indifferent to the support and love of others.  How I’ve pulled myself out of such low points is my story and some parts of the dark story I am not proud of and some parts I am.  I realize the parts I am proud of are when I found the inner strength to shift my perspective enough to make a different choice.  Through the tears and the pain (both physical and emotional) I could sense a faint awareness that I wanted to feel/do something different.  In such times, I open up enough find an inner resource that offers a glimmer of hope and possibility that I am willing to admit there is a different way and I will do something about it.  I also believe that having experienced the intense discomfort of chemotherapy and radiation, that in the future, and if in a conscious state, when faced with death I can have the same experience.  I will find an inner resource that offers a glimmer of hope and possibility that I am willing to admit there is a different way and I can find it.  I know I will seek peace and love over fear.

What is your story?  What victories, celebrations and joys have you experienced in the past decade?  In telling your story, what have been highpoints of your first ten years in the 21^st century?  What will you remember with a smile on your face, a warmth in your gut, a tenderness in your heart?  What are you most grateful for or even a little bit grateful for – personally and professionally?  Who have you met in the past 10 years that has influenced your life in a good way?  What have you done for others that you know has been of service to them?  What thoughts may inspire you for action in 2010?

In the city of Kolkata, an anti-noise campaign has started and Sunday has been declared a no honking day.  To quote the police commissioner of Kolkata, Guatam Mohan Chakrabarti, “...city police are embarking on a major campaign against noise pollution in general and bursting of high decibel firecrackers in particular.”

“After some progress in the campaign, we want to observe Sundays as no honking days. Motorists in the city often honk without reason.  Most of the time this is a manifestation of their impatience.  Sundays being no hurry days, drivers can desist from honking.  This would substantially reduce noise levels in the city.  Over time, the city has got noisier and at some busy crossings, it is completely maddening.”

What is also relevant in networked India is that this campaign has begun on a virtual plane on the blog kolkatacops.com.  The Police Commissioner continues, “enforcement alone cannot make the difference.  Only awareness can bring down the overall noise levels.  Since we already have a blog, we cannot have a better vehicle for such a campaign.

“We are inviting environmentalists and doctors to air their views on the ill effects of high-decibel fireworks on health and the environment.”  In addition, he wants to invite historians “to tell how and when the noise level increased to such a level”.  Furthermore, “sociologists should speak  on what social implications this sudden spurt of noise pollution may have on our social life.  We would like to have the views of economists if they can quantify the environmental damage and the financial loss incurred by this noise spurt.”

The Police Commissioner has not forgotten the common person.  He does not want the blog to be “an airtight zone for expression on one-way views.”  He is hoping for a range of views from regular citizens as well.  “We expect that eventually science, logic and enormous goodwill would prevail.”

Among already eminent citizens who have blogged, here are two comments:
“It is surely a good move, but I doubt if drivers will follow it.  In civilized countries, drivers do not honk unnecessarily, but here this is a custom.  Drivers should be trained properly.” Dr. Dulal Bose, Ent specialist and former sheriff of Kolkata.

“It has become a habit here to blow the horn unnecessarily.  If drivers stop doing this, noise pollution levels will come done.  For this, we need a mass awareness campaign and this is a good initiative to start with.” Devang Gandhi, cricketer.

Enthusiasm and passion can be transferred virtually, so here’s to the Kolkata cops.

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• Pilots and cabin crew exchange punches on flight (telegraph.co.uk)

We are offering some great presentations and workshops online using iCohere collaborative platform and we are seeking a number of volunteer online hosts who will be able to participate in the conference and perform some support activities.   This is a great opportunity for those who want to participate, but for a variety of reason can’t make it to Nepal in November.  Colleague, Sue James is co-ordinating the online hosting activities.

What are the benefits of volunteering?

• Receive support and training in the virtual conference environment, prior to the conference itself;
• Become part of a global network of volunteers, all of whom share your interest in Appreciative Inquiry;
• Gain personal and professional recognition across the AI community; and
• If you can act as an online host for six (6) hours or more over the four days of the conference, you will receive a 50% discount on virtual conference registration!
• (These hours will not have to be contributed in one block, but can be spread out in two-hour time slots over the four days)

For all the details and to register, please go to http://suejames.com/aihosts2009/

I am fortunate to be able to travel to Nepal for the Conference and will also co-facilitating an online workshop, “Flourishing Destinies: How to Sustain Positive Change.”  I will be happy to answer any questions and request that you use the contact form on this site to reach me.

That there is good passion and bad passion is not new.  But appreciating the psychological impacts of good and bad passion is of interest. Of even greater interest is how to cultivate more good passion and why does that matter?

Robert J. Vallerand, Professor of Psychology at Universite du Quebec a Montreal defines passion “as a strong inclination toward an activity that people like, find important, and in which they invest time and energy.”

Vallerand’s model posits the existence of two types of passion – harmonious passion and obsessive passion – each associated with different outcomes and experiences.

1. “Harmonious passion originates from an autonomous internalisation of the activity in the individual and leads people to choose to engage in the activity that they love. It is expected to lead mainly to more adaptive outcomes”, such as improved psychological well-being, health, relationships and performance. “An autonomous internalisation is driven by one’s own chosing;  it’s important to pursue the activity without any contingencies attached to it.  Motivation is intrinsic; it satisfies the needs for competence, autonomy, and relatedness.” These activities come to be so self-defining that they represent “who you are” in the world.  The harmoniously passionate person has a natural, authentic congruency.  Think of some people you know personally or  well-known athletes, artists, professionals and business people, who exhibit harmonious passion.
2. “Obsessive passion originates from a controlled internalisation in the individual’s identity and leads people to experience an uncontrollable urge to engage in the activity. It is hypothesised to predict less adaptive outcomes”, which could be conflict with self, others, competing activities, thus leading to possible disatisfaction, stress and burnout. “Obsessive passion may be displayed as a rigid persistence toward the activity”, as with such passion, one cannot NOT engage in the acivity. This happens because “ego-invested rather than integrative self processes are at play with obsessive passion leading the person to eventually becoming dependent on the activity. While such persistence may lead to some benefits (e.g., improved performance at the activity), it may also come at a cost for the individual, potentially leading to less than optimal functioning within the confines of the passionate activity because of the lack of flexibility that it entails.”

What role does competition play in the cultivation of obsessive passion?

There are too many examples of the negative consequences of obsessive passion spanning the history of our human species and in all areas of human endeavor – from politics, to business, to sports.  If you think about athletes (and others) who feel the need to take performance enhancing drugs, you’d have to ask which type of passion is internalized in them – autonomous or controlled?  And if not them, their managers, coaches or promoters?  What role does competition play in the cultivation of obsessive passion?  How does such obsessive passion play out in our personal well-being, long term success, health, relationships and performance?

How to cultivate harmonious passion and why does it matter?

• Love what you do, persist and practice. People who love what they do generally use a blend of their talents, gifts, strengths with a big shot of harmonious passion that keeps them doing what they love to do – even against all odds.  They get better at it, through persistence and practice and society benefits.   Think of the legacies left by painters and musicians, writers and scientists.  Van Gogh, Beethoven, Shakespeare and Marie Curie come to mind.  By the way there are no age, race, gender, culture barriers to loving what you do.   How many septuagenarian rock stars, or seven year old poets are out there?

• Take responsiblity to make it happen. If it’s you, then recognize which activities play to your talents and strengths and matter very deeply to you, not because something or somebody outside you tells you to, but because the activity or actitivies make you feel alive: they are instrinsic to your identity.   Take responsibility to cultivate and nurture them.  If you are a parent or boss, notice which activities enliven your child or staff member when they are at one with the activity.  Encourage their deliberate practice.

• Notice the impact your good (harmonious) passion generates in relation to:  your own well-being – your sense of vitality, aliveness and purpose in the world; your relationship with others – what and how you relate to others;  your physical health and energy levels;  your performance and outputs – the quality and quantity and your satisfaction levels.

When you pursue your passion, is it harmoniously integrated, creating a kind of peace within?  And how does that matter?  Your comments are welcome.