Discover Best Stories

www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUpGpPIROuo

Best Stories of Purpose-Driven Selling

We have all, at some time or another, been part of a successful, rewarding selling experience, whether it was selling a pretty pink lipstick, a million-dollar service contract, or tickets to your local arts fund-raising dinner. Reflect on a time when you felt at your best in a selling situation. Everything seemed perfectly aligned—timing, customers, your knowledge and message, the questions, and how you managed your responses, and so forth. Share your story.

• What was the situation?
• What was the purpose?
• Who was there?
• What was the outcome?
• How did you feel?

Without being modest, what do you value about yourself in your story?

What do you value about the work you were doing?

What did you value about the organizations—yours and your customer’s?

The participants paired off to interview each other. Very soon the room was alive with energy as the pairs exchanged stories of their best selling experiences.  After 25 minutes, single pairs linked up with another 2 pairs to form groups of six where interviewers introduced their interview partners and shared highlights of their partners’ stories of a high point purpose-driven sales experience.  They were invited to:

• Listen respectfully, focus on the common themes that came up across the stories;  listen for the collective strengths across all the stories:  key roots of success.   They selected a story that exemplified the strengths, best assets, and successes in a sales experience and shared with all other groups.

We then reconvened to listen to what came up for people during this discovery interview.

Collective findings of best selling experiences

We identified the most powerful and successful selling experiences happened when the following elements were present:

• we took time to notice and observe client behavior;
• we listened deeply;
• we engaged with full presence (not distracted by others, seeking information from them);
• we proposed a solution that represented the above two points and was fresh in its presentation;
• there was synchronicity and alignment of mutual respect and purpose;
• we knew we were helping;
• we felt confident and were very well-prepared; we were authentic and loved what we did; we trusted our intuition; we let go of assumptions;
• it felt easy and natural;
• we were acknowledged, complimented and  invited back;
• clients reported to feeling heard and understood and the solution offered was very good.

Participants agreed participating in the AI approach was an empowering experience, as most of them didn’t believe that selling was a strength, yet during their interviews they discovered strengths they were not yet aware of, or did not consider to be valuable.   Moreover, in hearing stories from other consultants in the room, they discovered skills and behaviors they too had, and made the connection that they could develop those same skills sets and behaviors that would help them shift to a new level of performance when it came to selling their services and products.

As a close, they each made a wish or two (in the form of a personal commitment) about what they would do to reconnect to their latent talents around selling-on-purpose and how to co-construct it with their clients.

Debriefing

As a debrief we contrasted this strength-based, generative approach to selling to the more traditional approach of telling people how to sell.  Moreover, there is a strong underlying assumption in sales-drive organizations, that sales people  are motivated by financial incentives, competition and fear of failure.  We recognized the negative consequences of contraction in such circumstances, when we feel fear and unconsciously we  jump to control mode and shut down.  On the other hand, when we come from a place of strength and feel positive about ourselves, we access our generative states, trusting ourselves and others.  We open ourselves up to possibilities, become more personally expansive and are more inclusive of others. We also spoke of the value being in positive resourceful states that the AI process facilitates, such as appreciating, imagining, collaborating and empowering.

I thank all who showed up to participate in the workshop to make it a fun and generative learning experience.  I would be most honored for those of you who were there, if you took a moment to add your own insights and experience to this blog post.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaFa91DSRi4

Workshop details -- FREE

Wednesday, July 28 2010 5:45 -- 8:00 PM

You’re invited to experience Appreciative Inquiry in Action and discover your strengths in relation to selling. If you think you can’t sell, or wish to improve, come along to this workshop on the affirmative topic of PURPOSE-DRIVEN SELLING and discover strengths you did not know you had in relation to selling.

I  will be facilitating this workshop which is one of the 21 workshops in my new book, Appreciative Inquiry for Collaborative Solutions: 21 Strength-based Workshops.

Location

John Jay College
899 10th Avenue @59th Street
New York, NY
Room 531

To Register

Please register in advance at this link:  http://bit.ly/bQZxcN
Questions: contact robyn @ positivematrix.com

My New York Cab story:

I’m in New York City and when I get into a cab, after I put on my seat belt and settle into the backseat, I ask the driver casually. “What’s the best thing that’s happened to you today?” It could be any time of day. It could be snowing, sleeting, or sweltering with heat and humidity. The traffic is usually at a stand still and horns are honking and sirens screeching. And, every single time, I get an almost identical response …. the driver suspiciously raises his eyes and looks up into the rear view mirror to check out who is this kook in the back of his cab. Then slowly a smile comes across his face, his eyes twinkle as they make contact with mine and he repeats: “The best thing that’s happened to me today?” And he begins to tell me. There is more. Through my appreciative inquiry I get to hear more of his story – where he comes from, who is family is, what he does in his spare time, what life is like back in his country of origin and much more. Over these last years, I have connected with the most wonderful and extraordinary people simply by asking an unconditionally positive question.

Every person, whose story I’ve heard has touched me and I know I have touched them. Perhaps, most illustrative of the power of inquiry is the driver who was so moved by our generative conversation, driving me from Wall Street to Park Avenue said, when we reached my destination, “Ma’am you do such good work in the world, you don’t pay me!” I thanked him and responded he also was doing such good work in the world. Then as I got out of the cab, I mentioned to the next passenger who was already impatiently holding the cab door, “He’s a good guy”, flicking my head in the direction of the driver. Before the cab pulled away from the curb, I heard the driver laugh out loud when the new passenger said, “I hear you are a good guy.”

Appreciative inquiry, it works every time.

Five actions using appreciative inquiry to shape your experience

1. Pay special attention to your first question, it determines what comes next.
2. Ask what works, rather than what’s wrong?
3. Notice, the more positive the question, the more it will create the possible.
4. Stay in the inquiry to help people think.
5. Believe in the goodness of people to see the goodness of people.

What are your positive stories about shaping your experience to bring out the best in you and others?

image courtesy of berkessel.com

“What are you excited about?”

I love the question.  In my practice of Appreciative Inquiry, we say  it’s the question that starts the change process.  If Justin had asked, not “What are you excited about” , but instead, “What are you depressed about?” a totally depressing story would have been told.  But he asked a powerfully affirmative question that inspires me to think about the successes and strengths I already know about and can celebrate.  Moreover, the question leads me to focus on what I want more of.

It was no effort to list what I am excited about.

I am excited that the conversation is widening and we are becoming more conscious of what is importance to us and what we value – more people becoming engaged and more voices are being heard.

I am excited that we are changing policies and introducing reforms to bring greater equity and justice into the world, especially in the financial sector.

I am excited we are taking actions , globally, around all the factors pertaining  to ecological sustainability – energy, transportation, earth.

I am excited when I hear leadership speak from the heart, ethically, and listens loudly.

I am excited that social media is increasing our participation and collaboration across the world and is a force of natural democratization in the world.

I am excited that we now, in America, will be able to care for the sick, children and elderly who are most vulnerable in our world.

I am excited the natural disasters that have occurred are showing us we how inter-connected we are and we cannot not think systemically.

I am excited that Americans are increasingly learning there is a world outside the US and it’s a beautiful world to be celebrated and shared.

I am excited that Americans are learning more about good health and there is conversation and action about eating natural, unprocessed, wholesome food with less sugar and less salt.

I am excited that there is continued conversation about the inhumanity of cruelty to animals.

I am excited that as a human species,  we are evolving rapidly and exponentially to live our lives with heightened and enlightened levels of consciousness.

I am excited we are thinking holistically, and seeing the world through multiple lenses, and listening to the myriad of diverse stories, and integrating the physical with the virtual

I am excited to be alive in 2010 and have this opportunity to tell my story.

I am excited to know if you, too, are moved to answer this question: “What are you excited about?”

How so absolutely real is that!  Coming back from India and Nepal recently, and being immersed in the experience of other cultures brought “the experience of being alive” up front and personal. I saw and felt both the rawness of poverty co-exist alongside the comfort of wealth, and latest mobile technologies being used along side women filling vessels from community water pumps.   It’s those in-your-face contrasts that jolt us into the fullness of being alive.

If we don’t experience the fullness of life personally, we can vicariously.  We see more and more reality TV shows in the US which expose us to aspects of life that maybe outside our own experiences.  For example, where bosses are going undercover into the trenches to experience what it’s like to work in their own companies outside their board rooms; where couples race around the world and experience many difference cultures and environments;  where cooks initiative food revolutions to expose school kids to food that is different from their regular, routine food in the hope to introduce healthier diets that will create greater awareness of what it takes to live a healthier life style, free from fatal diseases associated with obesity.  And there are so many others that open us up to the fullness of being alive.

Awareness is the first step in any change.  If we can suspend judgment and see others as they are, it opens us up to seeing the wholeness of life with an appreciation of difference and what it could be like to be in someone else’s  shoes.  With such awareness, we begin to expand our own perspectives and the experience of being alive, and with that, comes the principle of Umbunto – I am because you are.

My dream for a more equitable, loving world, where communities can sustain themselves, women increasingly take public leadership roles, in the home, in business and governments, children are literate, and wealth is more evenly distributed is being realized bit-by-bit.  This bit-by-bit phenomenon is growing.  Social entrepreneurs, who believe in patient capital, participatory leadership and mindsets, and social media that instantly spread messages, are powerful facilitators of this positive, equitable trend.

If you too embrace the “fullness of being alive”, with optimism, hope and possibility, how is it showing up for you?

I am equally inspired by their responses, so I’ve created a comment area on my blog for us to continue sharing ideas, stories, experiences, insights and aspirations.

Below are some examples of their emails:

“I read the activity about Business as a change agent in the world … I love the legacy aspect. So this gave me an idea for my storytelling….You inspired me at lunch, and also in the subway! This book arrives at the perfect time for me it seems!”

“Now that I’ve had a little time to actually read the book (the first few sections), I love it more. It’s got clear insights and your tapestry of weaving together the several strands that influence your thinking/this book is one of golden and silver threads. Just stunning synthesis and vision. This book is simply wonderful.  Much success!”

“I’m back in Germany now after a very exciting two weeks in New York City. Your workshop at Marymount was one of the highlights of the workshop circuit. I am planning on using appreciative inquiry in BPW and present it, as you did, as a useful trainer tool and at the same time to find out what members and prospective members want and need from BPW.  Perhaps I can also use the method in a team building workshop.”

“I’ve had a quick browse – what a wonderful resource it will be for the AI community ”

“I love your book! It’s a perfect tool for incorporating Appreciative Inquiry in group coaching/training, so I can’t wait to put it into action. Thanks for this beautiful work, it’s really going to change things ”

“Looking forward to working with your book – maybe already next week in an interview with a friend to capture her Art of Hosting training experience in Sweden last month. Will let you know -   Here is my little report from Friday’s event on Pioneers of Change.”

“Robyn Stratton-Berkessel led us through an Appreciative Inquiry exercise that showed us the power of hearing other people telling our own leadership story.”

“Can your workplace benefit from better collaboration + appreciation of each others work? Try @robbiecat‘ s workbook.”

Please also read my interview on Axiom News,  whose mission is “To be the news agency of the world’s most socially generative organizations’.

I am very grateful to you all!

And let’s keep sharing and here’s the comment area to share ideas and practices.

All of the AI Principles are evident in her story.  She opens with examples of the Constructionist Principle: how words create worlds and the role we all play in co-creating our realities and defining each other.

She advocates the need to honor the wholeness, possibility and potency of ourselves and each other.  She asks us to open ourselves up to and embrace our adversities, rather than sweep them under the carpet.

She reminds us from her own story that we live up OR down to others’ image of us, and how positive imagery leads to positive outcomes.  She is such an example of nurturing the human spirit, keeping hope, seeing the beauty, valuing curiosity … and so much more.

I highly recommend this video.

Aimee Mullen’s TED Talk on “The Opportunity of Adversity“.

There is always more than the eye sees: a splendid metaphor to shift our perspective on what seems to be “nothingness, emptiness, wastefulness, blackness”.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=oAVjF_7ensg

My publisher had emailed me 3 days earlier with the following heartwarming message:

It’s here and it’s beautiful!!!!
Congratulations.  You should get your copy soon.

I am really happy, as my book is a unique application of Appreciative Inquiry to the world of learning and development.  Amid global challenges and complexities, the Appreciative Inquiry worldview asks, “What is it that we do already that is working for us, and how can we leverage our strengths going forward?”

The twenty-one workshops in this book are on topics of strategic importance, addressing the desire and need, in our interconnected world, for greater participation and active collaboration in meaning making and resource sharing.   This book is for change agents, leaders, trainers, facilitators, organization development professionals, and consultants.

All 21 workshops are ready for delivery; the topics are all highly relevant in today’s world, and with the Appreciative Inquiry design, they are equally applicable in global corporations, local communities, schools, colleges, universities, government agencies, non-profits, non-governmental agencies, special interest groups, communities of practice, and small business.

Workshop titles include classic topics, such as team building, leadership, and change, as well as on newer topics, such as cultural diversity, corporate social responsibility, intergenerational mix, and social media, to name a few.

This book takes Appreciative Inquiry principles and processes and applies them to real, everyday work and relationship issues in a workshop format that allows organizational members to resolve issues and create solutions from a strength-based perspective.

See larger image Appreciative Inquiry for Collaborative Solutions: 21 Strength-Based Workshops (Paperback) By (author) Robyn Stratton-Berkessel List Price: $60.00 USD New From: $46.50 In Stock Used from: $46.74 In Stock

Doing the best you can with the resources you have is an invitation to connect with your reflective self.  It is an invitation to think about the quality and the content of your thinking.  Have you ever kicked yourself or felt anger or annoyance at yourself because of something you did or thought that you knew was not worthy of yourself.  After the event, you judged yourself very harshly and felt remorse.  That is usually an unpleasant experience.

You have the capacity to turn that unpleasant experience about your own thinking and behavior into a pleasing experience.  How?  Acknowledge that you exercised your reflective self to know the difference.   And make that your reflective best self.  Actions, conversations, thoughts that are judging, critical, non-valuing of self and others are not helpful.  If you see leaders in your organizations and your colleagues as doing the best they can with the resources they have, it’s a more helpful way seeing what’s going on through a valuing lens.  You tap into your own inner resources of love and peace and truth and power to see a situation for what it is, not what your inner judge expects it to be.   When we become more conscious and do the reflective work, we clean our lens and see more clearly that we are all in the same  boat, doing the best we can with the resources we have. These include the inner resources of compassion, forgiveness and respect.