“We don’t have to engage in grand, heroic actions to participate in the process of change. Small acts, when multiplied by millions of people, can transform the world. Even when we don’t “win,” there is fun and fulfillment in the fact that we have been involved, with other good people, in something worthwhile. We need hope. An optimist isn’t necessarily a blithe, slightly sappy whistler in the dark of our time.To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness. What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives.

If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places — and there are so many — where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction. And if we do act, in however a small way, we don’t have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory.”

To be reminded that the seemingly smallest acts of kindness, acknowledgement, appreciation: a smile, a hello, holding the door for someone, telling a child how good she/he is, a wave to the neighbor can have a profound effect and made a big difference. It is the compounding effect we can’t anticipate. You never know how far positive kind work or action will travel and for how long. What we can do is make those little acts of kindness a more conscious behavior. The moments will add up to hours and days and months and lifetimes.

What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives.

What are you choosing to emphasize in this complex history we are co-creating?  What are our news media choosing to emphasis, our nations choosing to emphasize.  We determine our history.

I love the question.  In my practice of Appreciative Inquiry, we say  it’s the question that starts the change process.  A powerfully affirmative question inspires us to share stories about the successes and strengths I already know about and can celebrate.  Moreover, the question leads me to focus on what I want more of.

It is no effort to list what I am excited about.

I am excited that the conversation is widening and we are becoming more conscious of what is importance to us and what we value – more people becoming engaged and more voices are being heard.

I am excited that we are changing policies and introducing reforms to bring greater equity and justice into the world, especially in the financial sector.

I am excited we are taking actions , globally, around all the factors pertaining  to ecological sustainability – energy, transportation, earth.

I am excited when I hear leadership speak from the heart, ethically, and listens loudly.

I am excited that social media is increasing our participation and collaboration across the world and is a force of natural democratization in the world.

I am excited our global conversation is widening because more people are standing up and expressing what’s important to not only them but what’s important for the longevity of all human kind -  the sick, children and elderly who are most vulnerable in our world.

I am excited the natural and human-made unrest and chaos are showing us we how inter-connected we are and we cannot not think systemically.

I am excited that Americans continue to pay attention that there is a world outside the US and it’s a beautiful world to be celebrated and shared.

I am excited that we are learning more about good health and there is conversation and action about eating natural, unprocessed, wholesome food with less sugar and less salt.

I am excited that there is continued conversation about the inhumanity of cruelty to animals.

I am excited that as a human species,  we are evolving rapidly and exponentially to live our lives with heightened and enlightened levels of consciousness.

I am excited we are thinking holistically, and seeing the world through multiple lenses, and listening to the myriad of diverse stories, and integrating the physical with the virtual

I am excited to be alive in 2011 and have this opportunity to tell my story.

I am excited to know if you, too, are moved to answer this question: “What are you excited about?”

(Link to the full interview below)

Q: What do you see as the New Paradigm of Work?

Killian: The new paradigm is about Life. One life, and work is part of that life and increasingly these two blend like fluids. Much of this is driven by the exponential rate of technological advances, automation by machines of routine tasks and the unstable and unpredictable business climate (and in part, planetary climate conditions!) The technologies we use for work and for socializing blend; the devices we use at home and at work blend; our networks blend; our hours of work and home-time blend in a ubiquitously connected global economy; our work spaces blend and even the boundaries between our professional personas and our personal reputations blend. Increasingly, our employers blend as many people become self-employed or work on contract terms for multiple organizations, over time our careers will blend from one life stage to another, much like seasonal workers or the way in which actors work.

In this new paradigm of work, where work and life are inseparable, happiness will only be possible if work blends with play, if passion blends with purpose, and if creativity is as vigorously cultivated as profitability.

What about this interview so resonated with me? Annalie offers stories and insights for creating environments where people show up fully so their radiance shines.

And, it takes effort. It is about developmental work – as opposed to problem-solving work. In order to live into the new paradigm, it requires us to:

1. do personal inner work – develop our own inner capacities:
2. identify and invest in the appropriate structures to support and facilitate the development
3. recognize we can only make this shift to a “new paradigm about life” in relationship with others.

To read the full interview, please go to Michelle James’ fabulous blog, The Fertile Unknown and read her full interview with Annalie Killian, in her series of Creativity in Business

Discover Best Stories

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUpGpPIROuo

Best Stories of Purpose-Driven Selling

We have all, at some time or another, been part of a successful, rewarding selling experience, whether it was selling a pretty pink lipstick, a million-dollar service contract, or tickets to your local arts fund-raising dinner. Reflect on a time when you felt at your best in a selling situation. Everything seemed perfectly aligned—timing, customers, your knowledge and message, the questions, and how you managed your responses, and so forth. Share your story.

• What was the situation?
• What was the purpose?
• Who was there?
• What was the outcome?
• How did you feel?

Without being modest, what do you value about yourself in your story?

What do you value about the work you were doing?

What did you value about the organizations—yours and your customer’s?

The participants paired off to interview each other. Very soon the room was alive with energy as the pairs exchanged stories of their best selling experiences.  After 25 minutes, single pairs linked up with another 2 pairs to form groups of six where interviewers introduced their interview partners and shared highlights of their partners’ stories of a high point purpose-driven sales experience.  They were invited to:

• Listen respectfully, focus on the common themes that came up across the stories;  listen for the collective strengths across all the stories:  key roots of success.   They selected a story that exemplified the strengths, best assets, and successes in a sales experience and shared with all other groups.

We then reconvened to listen to what came up for people during this discovery interview.

Collective findings of best selling experiences

We identified the most powerful and successful selling experiences happened when the following elements were present:

• we took time to notice and observe client behavior;
• we listened deeply;
• we engaged with full presence (not distracted by others, seeking information from them);
• we proposed a solution that represented the above two points and was fresh in its presentation;
• there was synchronicity and alignment of mutual respect and purpose;
• we knew we were helping;
• we felt confident and were very well-prepared; we were authentic and loved what we did; we trusted our intuition; we let go of assumptions;
• it felt easy and natural;
• we were acknowledged, complimented and  invited back;
• clients reported to feeling heard and understood and the solution offered was very good.

Participants agreed participating in the AI approach was an empowering experience, as most of them didn’t believe that selling was a strength, yet during their interviews they discovered strengths they were not yet aware of, or did not consider to be valuable.   Moreover, in hearing stories from other consultants in the room, they discovered skills and behaviors they too had, and made the connection that they could develop those same skills sets and behaviors that would help them shift to a new level of performance when it came to selling their services and products.

As a close, they each made a wish or two (in the form of a personal commitment) about what they would do to reconnect to their latent talents around selling-on-purpose and how to co-construct it with their clients.

Debriefing

As a debrief we contrasted this strength-based, generative approach to selling to the more traditional approach of telling people how to sell.  Moreover, there is a strong underlying assumption in sales-drive organizations, that sales people  are motivated by financial incentives, competition and fear of failure.  We recognized the negative consequences of contraction in such circumstances, when we feel fear and unconsciously we  jump to control mode and shut down.  On the other hand, when we come from a place of strength and feel positive about ourselves, we access our generative states, trusting ourselves and others.  We open ourselves up to possibilities, become more personally expansive and are more inclusive of others. We also spoke of the value being in positive resourceful states that the AI process facilitates, such as appreciating, imagining, collaborating and empowering.

I thank all who showed up to participate in the workshop to make it a fun and generative learning experience.  I would be most honored for those of you who were there, if you took a moment to add your own insights and experience to this blog post.

Workshop details – FREE

Wednesday, July 28 2010 5:45 – 8:00 PM

You’re invited to experience Appreciative Inquiry in Action and discover your strengths in relation to selling. If you think you can’t sell, or wish to improve, come along to this workshop on the affirmative topic of PURPOSE-DRIVEN SELLING and discover strengths you did not know you had in relation to selling.

I  will be facilitating this workshop which is one of the 21 workshops in my new book, Appreciative Inquiry for Collaborative Solutions: 21 Strength-based Workshops.

Location

John Jay College
899 10th Avenue @59th Street
New York, NY
Room 531

To Register

Please register in advance at this link:  http://bit.ly/bQZxcN
Questions: contact robyn @ positivematrix.com

My New York Cab story:

I’m in New York City and when I get into a cab, after I put on my seat belt and settle into the backseat, I ask the driver casually. “What’s the best thing that’s happened to you today?” It could be any time of day. It could be snowing, sleeting, or sweltering with heat and humidity. The traffic is usually at a stand still and horns are honking and sirens screeching. And, every single time, I get an almost identical response …. the driver suspiciously raises his eyes and looks up into the rear view mirror to check out who is this kook in the back of his cab. Then slowly a smile comes across his face, his eyes twinkle as they make contact with mine and he repeats: “The best thing that’s happened to me today?” And he begins to tell me. There is more. Through my appreciative inquiry I get to hear more of his story – where he comes from, who is family is, what he does in his spare time, what life is like back in his country of origin and much more. Over these last years, I have connected with the most wonderful and extraordinary people simply by asking an unconditionally positive question.

Every person, whose story I’ve heard has touched me and I know I have touched them. Perhaps, most illustrative of the power of inquiry is the driver who was so moved by our generative conversation, driving me from Wall Street to Park Avenue said, when we reached my destination, “Ma’am you do such good work in the world, you don’t pay me!” I thanked him and responded he also was doing such good work in the world. Then as I got out of the cab, I mentioned to the next passenger who was already impatiently holding the cab door, “He’s a good guy”, flicking my head in the direction of the driver. Before the cab pulled away from the curb, I heard the driver laugh out loud when the new passenger said, “I hear you are a good guy.”

Appreciative inquiry, it works every time.

Five actions using appreciative inquiry to shape your experience

1. Pay special attention to your first question, it determines what comes next.
2. Ask what works, rather than what’s wrong?
3. Notice, the more positive the question, the more it will create the possible.
4. Stay in the inquiry to help people think and feel.
5. Believe in the goodness of people to see the goodness of people.

What are your positive stories about shaping your experience to bring out the best in you and others?

image courtesy of berkessel.com

All of the AI Principles are evident in her story.  She opens with examples of the Constructionist Principle: how words create worlds and the role we all play in co-creating our realities and defining each other.

She advocates the need to honor the wholeness, possibility and potency of ourselves and each other.  She asks us to open ourselves up to and embrace our adversities, rather than sweep them under the carpet.

She reminds us from her own story that we live up OR down to others’ image of us, and how positive imagery leads to positive outcomes.  She is such an example of nurturing the human spirit, keeping hope, seeing the beauty, valuing curiosity … and so much more.

I highly recommend this video.

The decade beginning 2000 was a good decade for me.  I married a wonderful human being in 2000; we have enjoyed great fun and a wide range of intensely pleasurable physical experiences; we have grown together and independently through many stimulating, engaging intellectual learnings;  and we have both experienced deeply meaningful emotional times.  We have traveled a lot and created a home we love. I am blessed in my relationship.

So, in this last decade, I have continued to change, as has the world around me.  A dominant and exciting force that is enabling this rapid growth rate of change is social media. We have new and additional ways in which we communicate and connect with people and we have many more topics and stories to share.  My sensitivity has been even more heightened as to how alike we really are across the globe.  How vulnerable we all are, and how much more we can become together.  I have been moved by so many stories shared in private and in public places – face-to-face, virtually, in books, on TV, in film.  All my senses have been sharpened.  For example, in Italy, I savored during and for months afterwards the landscape and the smells and sounds; the sensations and the tastes:  I admired the art work and architecture and imagined what it was like when armies of ancient Rome traversed the land battled against the Carthaginians and the Gauls;  I imagined the beauty of the Etruscans, even before the Romans, and then I imagined what life may have been like during the Renaissance when art and commerce flourished.  History and culture revealing how peoples continue to shape the future and leave their legacies.

I experienced similar emotions and wonderings while traveling in India and visiting Kathmandu Valley in Nepal.  My curiosity and interest is always aroused to learn how people get to where they are and what has shaped their current situation.   What are their stories?  My own birthplace, Australia, has untold stories that the land longs to share.  The more stories we can hear of all peoples on this planet, the richer we all will be.

I love to find the themes and connect dots.  What keeps coming up for me?  My filtering system is constructed to find the beauty, the goodness and what truths endure across time and space.  Horror and evil also endure across time and space. They co-exist.  History and the arts are full of co-existence. The victories of love overcoming fear, and good overcoming evil and beauty overcoming horror is the human story.

I learned at Christmas time, a dear colleague, whom I haven’t communicated with since 2002 has Stage 4 cancer in her brain and has very little time left in her present form.   Going about my business (busy-ness), I thought about her a lot, but didn’t call.   After Christmas, I learnt her condition had worsened.  I felt remorseful that I had not acted on my best intuition to call her when I wanted to.  I actually feared I had missed my opportunity to let her know I cared for her.  I had weak excuses, like a 14 hours time difference, Christmas was an awkward time, etc. etc.  Finally, I did call and our conversation was truly meaningful.  I also send the flowers I had been thinking about sending for four days.  I decided that moving beyond thought to action would be my commitment to myself in 2010.  To move beyond dreaming and thinking into action – action that serves others, and in doing so, serves me.

All plans can change.  So when the world changes around you, what constants provide you with a sense of safety or equanimity that enables you to go on?  The tiniest belief in oneself helps; some hope for a future; the support of others.  I have been in that state, when I had no self-confidence, despaired of any future and indifferent to the support and love of others.  How I’ve pulled myself out of such low points is my story and some parts of the dark story I am not proud of and some parts I am.  I realize the parts I am proud of are when I found the inner strength to shift my perspective enough to make a different choice.  Through the tears and the pain (both physical and emotional) I could sense a faint awareness that I wanted to feel/do something different.  In such times, I open up enough find an inner resource that offers a glimmer of hope and possibility that I am willing to admit there is a different way and I will do something about it.  I also believe that having experienced the intense discomfort of chemotherapy and radiation, that in the future, and if in a conscious state, when faced with death I can have the same experience.  I will find an inner resource that offers a glimmer of hope and possibility that I am willing to admit there is a different way and I can find it.  I know I will seek peace and love over fear.

What is your story?  What victories, celebrations and joys have you experienced in the past decade?  In telling your story, what have been highpoints of your first ten years in the 21^st century?  What will you remember with a smile on your face, a warmth in your gut, a tenderness in your heart?  What are you most grateful for or even a little bit grateful for – personally and professionally?  Who have you met in the past 10 years that has influenced your life in a good way?  What have you done for others that you know has been of service to them?  What thoughts may inspire you for action in 2010?